I will spare you the details, but trust me.
The last thing we needed was a raccoon (or two) to add to the chaos.
Here's a quick peek into my evening:
We resort to pizza after the 4 sports events we attended tonight. I am exhausted, so I go on kitchen duty (aka light duty) while Superman puts the little people to bed. I box up the leftovers and prepare to refrigerate them.
Meanwhile, Superman has done his job and is heading to the shower.
Back downstairs, there is no room for the leftovers inside, so I head to the garage to the extra fridge.
We have a shelf in the garage that sits right next to the door from the garage and the house. Up on top is where we keep the kitty's bed and food. It's her little lookout perch. If Cat is on the shelf, she can jump straight down and through the doorway into the house. Does this make sense?
So picture me: I open the door...I see non-cat-like movement...two raccoons jump down. (You should know that a few months ago one jumped down and narrowly missed running straight into my house, which about gave me a heart attack.)
fact: raccoons love cat food
Of course, I instantly scream. What else could I do? I'm a screamer. And not just a little "ack!" but like a blood curdling Alfred Hitchcock scream. Then, on impulse I slam the door as hard as I can, making a loud bang, not unlike a gunshot.
uh-huh
I got very quiet, as I do after the scream happens (yes, I have a pattern) because my knees go a little weak and I am often left dumbfounded and hoarse. The house is quiet except for my heavy breathing.
Then I hear a bang-bang, pounding from upstairs.
Oh yes.
He heard the scream, then the bang....
and came running out of the shower so hard that he broke the shower door.
Yup.
I have my grandmother, God rest her soul, to thank for the involuntary scream trait (which, alone, I could write an entire series about).
Superman is neither amused, nor sympathetic.
For my part, I can't help imagining the shower as a phone booth, from which he came bursting forth to save me.
Is it weird that I think that's hot?
8 comments:
It is wholly unfair that you titled this post the way you did. I was unprepared for how funny it was going to be and how have coffee burns inside my nose... Thanks. Seriously this was one of the funniest things I've ever read. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Too funny!
But that scream is probably more of a blessing than you realize. If you ever need help, some one will hear you and come to the rescue.
When I'm frightened I open my mouth to scream, but my voice freezes and nothing comes out. So, I had better be prepared to help myself should the need arise. Oh, I wish I could scream!
Ha ha ha! I bet Superman doesn't mind you thinkin' it's hot!
:) I love this. Tell Superman just how hot you thought he was and he'll forgive you.
I would have totally freaked out! You had no choice but to scream. (It WAS very cool that he came down like he did!)
I can't scream loudly ~ my voice or throat or something freezes and not a sound. If there's something little, like a spider, I can utter sounds but wish I could.
Superman needs to realize how hot you thought he was! ;-)
Thanks for the laugh ~
Pat
Thanks for sharing! I needed a laugh today and I think we all think our knight coming to the rescue is hot - even if he's without his shining armour! :)
aw, what a guy to jump out of the shower to save his woman from certain doom!
i have never had a raccoon attack; i've only had them knock over my garbage cans. those jerks.
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