A Story and Some {Net}-iquette

Picture it:

It's 1997(ish) and a lovely young newlywed bride sits down at the desk in the home office of her 900 sq. ft. apartment in Southern Illinois. The computer is the size of a small car, taking up most of the free space on the desk. The computer screen, not much bigger than the size of her palm. She feels a little isolated in this tiny town in what to her, seems like the Deep South, so she decides to "surf the internet". She waits twenty minutes while the beast dials up the phone line modem her new husband has set up for, hoping there are no telephone emergencies, because her phone will be out of commission the entire time she is surfing. 

--There were no cell phones. In those days, cell phone were these big black canvas bags that were wired to the cigarette lighter in your car, causing a real dilemma if you wanted to light a smoke while talking on the phone. Not that anyone could afford to talk much since phone calls from the "bag phone" cost a small fortune in those days.--

But I digress...

After making a cup of cappuccino and shaving her legs, she hears that the connection has finally been made. So she sits down, dreaming of building a nest in that tiny space for herself and her beloved. She takes a long sip of the frothy cappuccino and types in the name of a little company she loved in Chicago. They sold mixing bowls, measuring spoons and pretty vases: just little things that make a house a home. The screen says: PAGE NOT FOUND. She tries another combination, and another, and another. Nothing. 

That young bride was me. the company: Crate and Barrel.

In those days, the internet was new and unreliable. Some companies had pages. Some did not yet. There were no guarantees that you could connect, no guarantees you wouldn't get disconnected. It was a different world then.

blah, blah, blah

All of this to say that I very often still feel new to the internet. And, as rapidly as things are changing, it seems that just when I get used to something, it changes again or is replaced by something totally new. And I am left, a newbie all over again. 

So, you see, while my mind is busy trying to keep up with the times, sometimes my heads spins with the "rules" of social behavior on here. I just don't get it. Who writes these rules? How is anyone to know for sure what's what?

For example, I found out that return commenting was considered "essential etiquette" from a blogger friend who was complaining that some of the bigger blogs do not play nice. I had no idea what she was disgruntled about at the time she wrote the post, but slowly, it made sense to me. And it is true that some of the bigger blogs do not return comments, probably because the blogger is busy and really, who can return 100+ comments a day and still come up with new material? I have trouble keeping up with my little piece of the net most days. I mean, a girl's gotta eat, right?

So I ask you, dear readers and fellow blog-land-populators (umm yeah, it's a word, uh-huh): who decides these rules?

I mean to tell you I almost fell off my chair the first time Jen from tatertotsandjello commented on my blog. I mean she is like a blogging goddess to me! I could not believe she had time to stop by my little blog!

At the same time, I used to read the blog of one pretty popular blogger who is...I don't know..medium sized. I commented and commented and commented. I thought she was all that because she had a clean house and led a perfect Wisteria Lane life. But then it occurred to me that she had never once replied. Not in an email, not in a comment...even after months of me reading and commenting. The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back was when I was reading one of her bloggy friend's blogs (who is sweet and adorable and humble) and I saw that she comments there. I was floored! Then it happened again, and again with other blogs I frequent. I had hoped she was just one of those who didn't comment at all. I had hoped it wasn't me! But she's not. And it was not (me). 

It seems she is one of those who only comments on the blogs of the seemingly rich, cool and pretty girl blogs. Oh it's high school again? No thanks. 

I guess the rules are different for some... because her blog seems to be doing just fine the last time I checked (before I cancelled my "follow").

So what are the rules?

I used to only follow someone if I liked them, Then I got in to this "Follow me, Follow you" thing and it all changed. But who cares if you have a follower who is not a reader? huh? Actually,I am glad I did that because I met a lot of you there and I did get some rocking page views, but I also got some hollow numbers. Now I just want to go back and do it the old fashioned way, except now I have this anxiety that if you follow me and I don't immediately follow back, you will be offended. 

Do not be offended.

I am harmless. (often clueless and running late, but really, harmless)

I promise. ;)

I just wish someone would let me know, you know. So let's start over. If I've made you mad, I'm sorry. I try not to swear too much on here, I try to be positive and chipper and all "up-up-up". I try to make you laugh, or at least smile. I think of you as friends and I do appreciate every one of you who stops here to read a little bit of my insanity.

But can we all agree it is difficult playing by the rules when the rules are being made up as we go along.

Such is life I guess.

What are the rules you play by? I really want to know.