The Not-So Waltons

Here we are again: Easter Monday. The kids are set to go back to school tomorrow, but I'm not ready. It's always the same. The school system plays these cruel games with my emotions.  When they are in school, I get into a groove, which I enjoy. Then they come home and we revel in the freedom of sleeping in and hanging out, living freely and doing what we please. Then, all too soon, it's over and they go again.

Soon enough, it will be summer. For the first two weeks, we will be "honeymooners" again, enjoying each other and living the life of the Waltons, camera in hand. And then the fighting will start... Then sentence begins.

I mention the Waltons because that is sort of how I pictured my large family-to-be to be. You know, back then: BK. I figured Superman and I'd have a whole gaggle of kids, live on an apple farm and accept mini-vans full of strangers as guests (and customers) every fall. We'd raise goats for cheese and chickens for eggs. We would have a cow or two who would neither be slaughtered, nor be required to give milk 365 days a year. She would leave in peace in my yard, peacefully lowing and enjoying hedgeapples till her heart's content. We'd have a litter of puppies every spring. And barn cats would be our soft companions when we worked and played in our hundred acre yard that never needed mowing. Of course, we would have a garden the size of a small city. We would can our harvests, and dry our herbs, living in total harmony with the seasons.

I confess, I still fantasize about it from time to time. But long about July, I'll be singing a different tune. I'll be searching for activities to keep the little beasts busy. I'll be throwing up my hands to the heavens asking "WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG???" And I'll be ready, nay, desperate for school to begin again.  When reality hits me, I will see that I do not have the quiet, smiling children of my pictures. (this may be why I like pictures so much!) My kids can only sit still for so long before someone gets kicked in the face, someone gets their hair pulled, or Turkey starts throwing things and doling out orders in baby gibberish that we only half understand. Chaos ensues. Pretty soon, Mama is pouring Baileys into her coffee and packing her own "special" vodka water bottle on family field trips. (pure hyperbole, I assure you.)


I wonder why the school system won't bend to my will. A quarter system seems to make so much more sense: giving us just enough time to enjoy them, but not so much that we get sick of them. Of course, in the blue collar Midwestern town where I live, it would be unheard of to consider what a stay at home parent might prefer; unheard of to ponder what's best for the child. The working parent is king here. Children are only a mild inconvenience.  (I'm only slightly bitter, but that's another post.) 


When we only had 2 children we were the typical suburban family, attending museums and zoos and playdates on our regular day of the week tours. Everything we did was pro-family: cook-outs, swim meets, parades and festivals. When we moved here, with now 4 kids in tow, the sheer expense of these trips is overwhelming; the prep time, crippling. The classes we can attend have dwindled, the trips we take are fewer. Boredom sets in; our mortal enemy.

In the time it has taken me to put down my thoughts this morning, my little flock has gone from peacefully watching a movie in their jammies, to scattering and stomping about in protest of my assertion that we should go somewhere! do something! on this fine, sunny day. The temptation to "plug them in" lurks.

And yet, I won't give in. I will beat my head against the wall and frustrate myself to the point of no return before I will raise couch potatoes, or mind-numbed robots. I am stubborn like that. We will go on field trips! We will explore the great outdoors! We will enjoy these days, dammit! And I will take lots of pictures to prove just. how. much. fun. we. had!

Using my Photoshop skills, I will crop out my "water" bottle before I archive the pictures, and I, for one, will be thankful that these pictures do not come with a sound track.